Eulogy for Bertie Big Bollocks

A friend of mine took in an aging hamster when his owner moved away- we all thought he wouldnt last a week, but he had a very good innings. He died peacefully in his sleep two days ago- heres a silly poem I wrote for his funeral service:


A boy with massive bollocks 

But an even bigger heart

You spent the days in a sawdust haze

Waiting for your life to start


Till a girl called Millie took you 

To a big scary new home

Tasty meals and a hamster wheel

And plenty of space to roam 


And plenty of adventures too

Like meeting cousin Rupert from down south

Or hiding away, Milo’s prey 

In a holiday at the twins’ house


You were never without friends

You bit and wriggled when we held you tight

But Bertie, I hope you were happy 

When you had to bid us goodnight


What a privilege to love you

In your autumn days and twilight years

And to see you off to hamster heaven

With a smile, despite the tears


And I think about you looking down

From that big wheel in the sky 

Bertie, you know that unknowable secret 

Of what happens when we die


Maybe one day we’ll all come back as hamsters

I know that if I do

I’d want to live in that bubble of love

With all of the girls who loved you 

From Blogger iPhone client

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